During our three-week stay in India we stayed with many different relatives in four different cities enjoying incredible hospitality.
We did not have to cook, wash clothes or pick up after ourselves. Most homes had a group of “staff” that worked for the family in a full time or part time capacity. In most cases it is the lady of the house, who has painstakingly trained her staff to the ways of their house.
I am familiar with this system as I grew up with it. However, having lived away from it for decades, now it feels noticeably different. This system has worked because labor is plentiful and cheap. The “servants” as they are commonly referred to, have migrated from smaller towns and villages to the city in order to support the lives of the families who are able to afford household help.
In smaller towns they have their own homes to go to. In bigger cities, that is not the case. They sleep on stairs, balconies or in the kitchens of their employers’ apartments. Often the part time help will go to several different homes in a day to work. For example, the cook in the household in Pune we visited started cooking around 4 am and cooked for 6-8 homes before lunchtime. He had a motorcycle to travel so he was quite efficient. He would do the same again for dinner.
The relationship between the servants and the family can get very close. They often become like a member of the family. The family will support the servants; give them loans for education or buying land in their village. They will also foot their medical bills.
Sometimes these relationships can be a source of emotional stress. Ruchi one of my cousin’s maids, was about 20 years old and had been with my cousin’s family for 5 years. She was not very quick learner so my cousin had put extra effort to train her for helper to the cook.
The morning we arrived she was quietly moping the floor but did not look happy. She did not respond to my “hello” as I had met her on my previous visits. My cousin asked her the reason why she was quiet but she remained silent. Then the doorbell rang and Ruchi’s mother appeared, unannounced. She said she has come to pick up her daughter and she won’t be working here anymore. My cousin was taken aback by this news. Ruchi was treated well in their house and there was no indication of any unhappiness on her part prior to this day.
Ending relationship so abruptly was hurtful. My cousin had tears in her eyes. She asked Ruchi to at least say goodbye to the rest of the family but her mother said they had to leave soon. The parents had arranged for a boy to meet Ruchi the next day. They had decided to get her married!!!
I have no idea if Ruchi had any say in the matter. My cousin gave her the small stash of money that she was saving out of Ruchi’s salary. The rest of her salary used to go to her parents. Now it will probably go to her future husband’s account.
We all wished her well!!!
Meera 1 February 2019
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